Impact Makers

The Activism of Kindness

It’s my birthday this week.

Somehow I am turning 59 and next year is “Life Version 6.0”. I find myself thinking about the people that come in and out of my life that have influenced my perspective or shifted my direction in a subtle way or a profound way. The teachers that shaped me growing up, opportunities given, and the hands that lifted me up.

We shape one another constantly. Most of the time, we don’t realize it. And in a world filled with stress and divide, I keep thinking about the power of random acts of kindness, unsung heroes and the butterfly effect of paying it forward. It is an essential element of humanity that needs a spotlight in our collective consciousness more than ever.

About a month ago, I had a very vivid dream where someone I did not know told me very clearly I needed to write about impact. Not the kind measured in numbers or visibility, but the kind that happens quietly between people that change the direction of their lives.

The dream felt like a directive. A gentle assignment from somewhere I couldn’t name. And when I woke, something had shifted. I began to look for moments of impact everywhere. In conversations. In memories. In the news. In passing exchanges I might have otherwise forgotten. The practice of noticing profoundly lightened my mood and reminded me of the profound goodness of humanity. It gave me doses of inspiration and turned my focus outward.

And the idea to write here in Substack was born. I was a guest contributor to Medium and Huffington Post for years, and this space has that kind of community feeling to me that feels authentic and inclusive. I am excited to be here.

Recently, I came across a short video of Impact between strangers. Watch, then come back.

@corybooker

Cory Booker on Instagram: "Even in these days of darkness, mean…

A gesture of generosity, an energetic connection, an unimaginable gift at just the right moment. That is Impact.

When we hear about these stories, there is no need for language but rather we feel an impulse to share: like seeing a spectacular sunrise or a sparkling rainbow. It moves something in us, activates the best in us and most importantly, it brings us together.

Over the holidays our family watched “It’s a Wonderful Life”, a film I have seen dozens of times since childhood.

I cry.

Every.

Single.

Time.

I see why this story has remained beloved since it was made in 1948. George Bailey speaks to the very heart of all of us wondering if we matter. Only rarely are we given a chance to see that impact we have in the little moments day to day.

I see my own moments of being an Impact Maker in my four children, now adults, thriving in their own unique lives. I see it in the “bonus kids” that showed up along the way. When I watch these amazing young adults being kind to others, making choices that reflect who they’ve become, it blows open my heart. This is the impact I am proudest of.

In the work I’ve done at MEA Wisdom School, I’ve had the privilege of walking alongside thousands of people navigating some of the most significant transitions of their lives. Midlife. Empty nesting. Career shifts. The search for purpose when everything familiar falls away. We gather online and in person, and over the weeks, people share what they’re moving through. They name what’s hard. They take risks. They change.

And sometimes, months or years later, they come back to tell me what happened next.

We have reunions for our alumni. Hundreds of people arrive, many of whom I recognize only from the tiny Zoom squares where we first met. They come up to me with beaming faces and tell me about the big decisions they made. The job they left. The move they finally made. The relationship that shifted. “Things are better now,” they say. And they thank me.

Here is what I’ve noticed: when someone comes to us with a story of how we’ve mattered in their life, we often don’t know what to do with it. We brush it off. We deflect. We take it in with a tiny sip instead of a full gulp. We smile and say something modest, and then we move on.

But these moments are sustenance. They can carry us for years. These moments are what get me out of bed in the morning and make all the long hours worth it.

We don’t expect Impact moments or know when they’re coming. And yet when they arrive, something deeply nourishing is activated. Not because they prove anything about our worth, but because they remind us that taking the time, reaching out, being present; quite frankly, giving a damn... it matters.

Just this morning, a woman in a workshop I’m teaching told me she had finally sent a letter that had been sitting in her drafts for months. A letter announcing that she was leaving her family business. She said she found the courage after my session, and expressed her gratitude. She had shiny eyes and we shared a bear hug.

That’s how impact works. It rarely announces itself when it happens. Sometimes it takes years to understand a gesture set in motion.

And here we are dear friends. I know you have stories of impact others have had on you and you have had on others. Let’s share them together. I am starting a project to call out, recognize and hold up the Impact Makers out there, and to encourage all of us to find ways to look for opportunities to impact others who least expect it.

Who has had a profound impact on you? Tell me about it. This is a place to share stories of small gestures that mattered more than anyone realized. A place to reflect on how impact takes on a life of its own, and a place to recognize those whom we have never told how much they mattered to us.

Over the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing stories, reflections and simple practices for noticing who has shaped us and how we might let that recognition move forward, through us, toward someone else.

If you’ve ever wondered whether small gestures matter; or whether the ones you’ve offered might have traveled farther than you know; you’re in the right place.

Send your stories to karicardinale88@gmail.com and I will feature a few in upcoming weekly posts.